Having another go at it

Meet Me by the River

2009-07-10T17:08:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I haven't written the two posts I talked about, and I'm leaving for a week tomorrow, big whoop, wanna fight about it. So instead of those I'm posting this video and lyrics to the song, its awesome.

VERSE 1:
Meet me by the river
Where the ancient song is sung
I will show you the deliverer
He will be your home

CHORUS:
Oh, I know, Oh, I'm undone
Oh, I'm drowning in His love

VERSE 2:
Meet me in the garden
Beside the trees so tall
I will show you the comforter
He will settle your soul

VERSE 3:
Meet me in the twilight
Where I first fell in love
I will show you Jesus
He will call you His own

This is such an awesome song, and I've been listening to it a lot today. Quite appropriate seeing how I'm going to be leave for Timberwolf tomorrow morning with a group of my high school friends. The song coming up on my iTunes is so appropriate because this is what Young Life does.

We're not Christ, but hopefully we're covered in the "aroma of Christ", and kids can sense it and feel something real about it. Then its merely saying meet me and I'll show you Jesus. Although "meet me by the zipline" doesn't have the same melodic ring that's what I'm getting ready to do.

PS - The song is called "Meet Me by the River" by Enter the Worship Circle on the cd Fourth Circle. Everything they put out is absolutely amazing. Check them out at www.EnterTheWorshipCircle.com

I think I'll start blogging again...

2009-06-29T23:56:00.007-04:00

Not that anyone will actually read it. I just kind of enjoy writing. Well, more the thinking that goes into writing. I already have two posts in my head right now. Well, maybe two posts, we'll see how it all works out. So to wet the appetite (of the 1 person who randomly stumbles upon this) here's a sneak peak:

Earning the Right to be Heard
Earning the Right to Hear

If you're a Young Life leader you definitely know the first phrase, but I'm beginning to think the second is just as important, if not more so, than the first.

Stay tuned (I promise it won't be in 6 months)

Yep...

2008-10-23T00:06:00.000-04:00

still nothing really worth posting

Holy crap a post!

2007-11-21T01:11:00.000-05:00

Before you go any further, kick back, relax, and groove on this sweet song. Seriously, stop reading and listen to the song. You can ignore the video, just listen to the song.

...

You're probably wondering about the use of 24 in the song. It was written on the lead singers 24th birthday. The part that I've been concentrating on is the following lyrics:

Twenty-four voices
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh
I am the second man now
And you're raising the dead in me
Yeah

I've been pondering the resurrection of Jesus lately. A guy coming back from the dead is quite the thing to ponder. I've grown up all my life knowing and hearing the story of the resurrection. The resurrection has always been presented to me as a story of huge hope. It meant that Jesus was the real deal, and that when we die we can go to heaven where everything will be perfect, and one day Jesus will come back and make things perfect on earth like it is in heaven. That is a great story of hope for the future, this broken world will some day be restored and God will wipe away every tear, its beautiful.

But what about hope in there here and now?

Why do I have to be dead for the hope brought by Jesus's resurrection?

Am I just suppose to be happy that the world and its people are broken in numerous ways, but that God will fix that at some point in the future?

Over the past few years a lot of my thinking has changed in regards to Jesus and the words he spoke, and the religion founded off them. I'm not so centered on the afterlife, I'm more concerned with what God has in store for us in the here and now. Eternal, abundant, full lives in the here and now. But the resurrection has always been about the afterlife for me, and I've really struggled with that.

Last week I gave a talk about sin, our state of disconnection from God, and how we do all these things in this life that are attempts to get connected, and that while we are chasing after all these connections that just end up leaving us broken and destroyed we're running away from the God that created us for that connection. It was very much a here and now talk. Jesus's death on the cross is God opening up that connection for us so we can live the life of connectedness we were made for. But the resurrection had me stumped until I unknowingly put this song on my computer at work. (I work above a library with a sweet cd collection, so once every other week I wander downstairs and pick out some cds, this was on one of them I happened to check out last week.)

The line "you're raising the dead in me" is beautiful, and I think a great picture of the resurrection in action in the here and now.

All of our sins, all of the ways we try to connect apart from God, leave us dead and broken. Sometimes its our whole body pays the price, but many times its a part of who we are spiritually, and more times than not sin kills a lot of who we are spiritually. We end up splintered; hearing 24 voices telling us different things, 24 hearts telling us how to feel, we're splintered and long for wholeness.

The death on the cross is Christ dying to reconnect with us, and the resurrection is Christ bringing back to life all the parts of us that have been killed by sin.

"You're raising the dead in me"

They're not just events that did or didn't happened 2000 years ago, they happen all around us, and most importantly within us.

God wants to raise the dead in us

talk about hope...

Halo 2 Live Medals

2007-08-04T17:26:00.000-04:00

I got sick of not knowing/remembering all the different medals available when you play Halo2 on xBox Live, so I made a cheat sheet to print out and sit on the coffee table where I play. If anyone else feels the same way I do, feel free to print it snag a copy for yourself (the picture is a link to the .pdf file that opens up in a new window).

Enjoy!

"Toilet Maker Sends Message" or "Pissed On Atheist"

2007-07-15T04:00:00.000-04:00

I've lived my new place for about a month, and I noticed something on the toilet today which made me giggle.

The image is linked to the totally unedited version in an attempt to prove I didn't photoshop it in there. Obviously the closeup and my makeshift magnifying glass are pShoped in, but thats it I swear.

I might post something about life later this week, no like it really matters.

Thoughts from a sleepless night

2007-06-04T07:07:00.000-04:00

God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul!

God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature... God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God's nature.

I'm definetly not the first person to say it, but this thought has been stuck in my head all night (which tends to be a long time when you haven't slept). If those verses from the creation stories in Genesis contain an ultimate truth then living the way of Jesus isn't about fighting against or escaping our humanity; its about restoring our humanity, about becoming fully human.

I think thats awesome.

I swear I'm not gonna type this whole book...

2007-05-12T23:10:00.000-04:00

I promise... maybe. But this totally resonated with where I am right now I had to share it.

...It was New York's Late Senator Daniel Moynihan who said, "Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions, but no one is entitled to his or her own facts." Religion cannot hide from truth by seeking to accumulate its own facts. How, we need to as, can the heart be warmed if the mind is violated? Will the heart worship what the mind rejects? Hardly, unless the fear of nothingness creates hysteria that in turn replaces all rationality. The other side of this equation, however, is that the heart will not tolerate emptiness forever. It is, therefore, that human sense of emptiness that forces the mind to break new ground, to open new possibilities and to develop new alternatives. The spiritual reality we seek in this postmodern world cannot be achieved without enlightened minds, but it will also never be discovered without warm hearts. That is what drives us, I believe, to learn new ways in which to worship God with both heart and mind.¹ Before we can do that, however we must first be willing to allow our minds to destroy any formulation from the past that no longer works. There is something secure about the fantasy of unexamined truth, or a life that is so closed that it will not step beyond yesterday's human explanations, yet no God is well served who is not seriously questioned. We must face that fact openly and directly.

1. That is totally me right now till after this part. But I don't think I'm totally inline with the next sentence, but I also think the reason I'm not there is because of the truth in the next sentence. This should be quite the journey.

The Lament of a Believer in Exile

2007-05-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

So I was at Barnes and Noble picking up a book I had on hold, when I came across the book "Jesus for the Non-Religious" by John Shelby Spong. Sounded interesting so I started reading the preface, and wasn't sure about it, then I came to the prologue, a poem by the author entitled The Lament of a Believer in Exile:

Ah, Jesus!
   Where have you gone?
       When did we lose you?
Was it when we became so certain that we possessed you
   That we persecuted Jews,
       Excommunicated doubters,
           Burned Heretics,
               And used violence and war to achieve conversion?
Was it when out first-century images
   Collided with expanding knowledge?
Or when biblical scholars informed us that the Bible does
   Not really support what we once believed?
Was it when we watched your followers distorting people
   With guilt,
       Fear,
           Bigotry,
               Intolerance,
                   And anger?
Was it when we noticed that many who called you Lord
   And who read their Bibles regularly
       Also practiced slavery,
           Defended segregation,
               Approved lynching,
                   Abused children,
                       Diminished women,
                           And hated homosexuals?
Was it when we finally realized
   That the Jesus who promised abundant life
       Could not be the source of self-hatred,
           Or one who encourages us to grovel
               In life-destroying penitence?
Was it when it dawned on us that serving you would require
   The surrender of those security-building prejudices
       That masquerade as our sweet sicknesses?

We still yearn for you, Jesus, but we no longer know where
   To seek your presence.
Do we look for you in those churches that practice certainty?
Or are you hiding in those churches
   That so fear controversy that they make "unity" a god,
       And stand for so little that they die of boredom?
Can you ever be found in those churches that have
   Rejected the powerless and the marginalized,
       The lepers and the Samaritans of our day,
           Those you called out brothers and sisters?
Or must we now look for you outside ecclesiastical setting,
   Where love and kindness expect no reward,
       Where question are viewed as the deepest
           Expressions of trust?

Is it even possible, Jesus, that we Christians are the villains
  Who killed you?
        Smothering you underneath literal Bibles,
               Dated creeds,
                   Irrelevant doctrines,
                       And dying structures?
If these things are the source of your disapearance, Jesus,
  Will you then reemerge if these things are removed?
       Will that bring resurrection?
Or were you, as some now suggest, never more
   Than an illusion?
By burying and distorting you were we
   Simply protecting ourselves
       From having to face that realization?

I still seek to possess what I believe you are, Jesus:
   Access to and embodiment of
       The source of Love,
           The ground of Being,
               A doorway into the mystery of holiness.

It is through that doorway I desire to walk.
   Will you meet me there?
       Will you challenge me,
           Guide me,
               Confront me,
                   Reveal your truth to me and in me?

Finally, at the end of this journey, Jesus,
   Will you embrace me
       Inside the ultimate reality
           That I call God
               In whom I live
                   And move
                       And having my being?
For that, Jesus, is my goal in this book.

Thoughts?

2007-05-10T00:11:00.000-04:00

In true Duby fashion, I am writing a blog late at night, when I should be asleep, and have to wake up early, go figure.

Also true to my normal fashion, I have been mulling this post over in my head for the past few days, and then read something which pretty much totally said exactly what I was going to say, but a lot better and in a lot less words.

Our churches are filled with people who outwardly look contented and at peace but inwardly are crying out for someone to love them . . . just as they are - confused, frustrated, often frightened, guilty and often unable to communicate even within their own families. But the other people in the church look so happy and contented that one seldom has the courage to admit his own deep needs before such a self-sufficient group as the average church meeting appears to be ~ Keith Miller

I'm not sure where the quote originated from, but it is one of the opening quotes for a book called "Messy Spirituality" by Michael Yaconelli, and the book is amazing, you need to check it out.

Anyone who's ridden in my car before can attest to the fact that I'm a messy guy, and I'm going to admit right now that my spiritual life is the same. I'm seriously all over the place with questions and doubts (especially doubts) and I've decided I'm no longer going to put up a facade.

I have doubts about God and Christianity. I honestly have doubts about God's love, his involvement in the world, and at some times if God even truly exists. I'm sick of forced smiles and small talk, and I'm sick of the same old boxed answers, even the ones I've given a hundred times before.

So now its officially out there, I'm a mess, and it brings me hope.

2007-05-05T12:38:00.001-04:00

now no one can claim I haven't posted in more than a month.

(hopefully) good stuff coming later

oh, and the hopefully in the previous sentence is referencing the word "good", not coming later. There's a post coming soon, it just might not be good.

2007-04-05T22:58:00.000-04:00

So, its been a while since I've listened to the radio in Grand Rapids, especially on a radio with a dial. So I'm getting ready to go to bed and decide I want to wake up to the radio tomorrow morning. Turn on the clock radio and I realized that the first half of the fm dial is literally all christian radio stations, which of course all suck.

2007-04-05T00:08:00.001-04:00

hi ben

w00t!

2007-04-04T01:14:00.000-04:00

I gots me a j-o-b!

I'm currently doing web development for a small video production company on the NE side of Grand Rapids. Its a temporary contract job, and I've only worked two days, but I've managed to wow the boss already. Its a good thing. I haven't meet my boss before, but we're connected through a few people, one of which is only one degree of separation. The craziest of which involves a website I made for a ministry in North Carolina and someone working on the house of the aunt of their future girlfriend through that ministry (the work on the house was through the ministry not the girlfriend).

I also have a phone call to make tomorrow about a job I sent my resume to a few weeks ago. They called the house back in Flint when I was already out here. This would be a more permanent position with a large company headquartered here in Grand Rapids. I purposely being vague because I don't want to jinx anything, although I'm really not expecting much to happen with it. I'm definitely gonna still call them and go in for an interview. I have no doubt that I could do the job, but I seem to be lacking "corporate experience" (stupid Quixtar).

Anyway, I really need to go to bed, I have to be to work at 8am (stupid 1:22am now).

2007-03-18T16:09:00.000-04:00

17 days later, it would appear I over-estimated in my previous post.

Although the weekend was great!

2007-03-01T23:01:00.000-05:00

The next few days should be great. Doing Work Crew at Timber Wolf Lake with an old HHSYL kid for the weekend, definitely going to be at least #2 on the highlight reel since December. And Tuesday I have my second interview at Digital Video Services, this time with the president of the company. The fact that my first interview went really well, and its the president I'm meeting with, seems to spell good things in my head. Looks like stuff is finally getting good.

My "Office"

2007-02-27T23:30:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my office, this is me hard at work. Notice the Lazy-Boy office chair, currently being used with the Shiatsu massaging pad. Can anyone remind me why I'm looking for a full time office job again?

I just like this picture of me. And yeah, the pencil ends up there a lot. The mouth is a very handy pencil holder.

2007-02-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." - Jesus, Matthew 18:3 (NIV)

Students help pay heating bills

Some local elementary students spent Saturday helping people stay warm.
Four classrooms from Sibley Elementary School in Grand Rapids wrote letters to local businesses asking them to sponsor the "Walk for Warmth" program.

The walk will help raise money for seniors and low income families who can't afford to pay their heating bills.

Students walked through the neighborhoods gathering pledges.

"So I can help people pay for their bills because not many can," said Trent Allen, "and I want to help everybody be able to pay for their bills and stay warm."
"Read for Rent" parents from the Martin Luther King, Jr. Leadership Academy joined in on Saturday's walk, as well as members of the Rental Property Owner's Association.

Generous

It was January of 2005, just weeks after the deadliest tsunami in recorded history devastated the South Asian Pacific.

As volunteer leaders of Sunday children’s activities, we knew that we would have 400 children who needed help understanding how to respond to the tsunami’s devastation. So we thought, Let’s teach the kids about being generous to those less fortunate than themselves.

In order to teach this generosity lesson, we made a plan to spend 100 days praying for and giving to tsunami victims.

That Sunday in the front of each room, we set up a donation box for blankets and a plastic tub for loose change. In the kindergarten and first grade room, a leader explained that next week the children could begin bringing donations.

Interrupting, a kindergarten-aged boy stood up from his seat, walked in front of all his peers and emptied his pockets into the tub. Without a word, he went back to his seat.

We were all astonished. This kindergartener’s response was so immediate. Why wait until next week to offer his loose change? He was wired with generosity–God-given generosity.

We discovered that there’s something instinctively generous in children. As leaders, we began wondering if there was something we needed to learn from them …

hmm...

White Privledge

2007-02-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I posted anything of any substance. Actually one could make the argument that nothing I've posted has really had much substance :) Anyway, I've been trying to avoid posting about the mundane going-ons of my current life, which has left pretty much nothing for me to post about. Until just a little while ago.

The following was written as a response to a post by a Xanga friend, Reverend Jeremy who rocks the internet handle APuritainMindset. It might help to read it. I'll post the quote he started off with which lead to my thoughts, for his thoughts on the whole thing (which might give a greater context to my words) you'll have to read his post.

Were five people killed in Salt Lake City this week because of Islamofascism? Don’t count on Big Media to answer that question. Here is what we know as of now. According to witnesses, an 18-year-old gunman calmly walked into a Utah shopping mall and started randomly killing customers. Thankfully, an off-duty police officer was able to slow him down, and the assailant was eventually killed in a shoot-out with Salt Lake City police. Early press reports only gave his age, but no name. ABC reported the story last night, but repeatedly said little was known about the shooter. Today, several Utah papers are reporting that the killer’s name was Sulejmen Talovic, and he was a Bosnian Muslim refugee.

Don’t expect to hear much more. Big Media has no interest in pursuing these sorts of cases. When a Muslim man intentionally mows people down in San Francisco with his SUV, the headline is: “SUV Driver Kills Pedestrians.” When a Muslim assailant bursts into a Jewish community center in Seattle and brutally murdered a Jewish woman and wounded five more, he is described as “sick,” and the story vanishes. When an Iranian college student tried to turn a rented SUV into a weapon of mass destruction, the media reported, “9 Injured by SUV at UNC-Chapel Hill.” We deserve to know whether Sulejmen Talovic was another example of “Sudden Jihad Syndrome,” but don’t hold your breath waiting for the facts.
- Gary Bauer

The quoted text from Mr.Bauer wreaks of white privilege. I wonder if Mr.Bauer would be asking the same questions if it had been a white conservative that had gone on a killing spree. Or how about asking the same questions every time a crime is committed by any white man. After all, Timothy McVeigh was white and how many people did he kill in his terror attack? Or how about Gale Nettles, another white man who believed he was working with Al Qaeda (ended up being undercover feds) to blow up a federal building in Chicago last year. Although I've found many people outside of chicago don't even know who Gale Nettles is. Or what about Eric Rudolph, who is best known for his bombing of the Olympic Games in Atlanta who also bombed abortion clinics and gay and lesbian night clubs. He also professes to be a christian. So why aren't we worrying about white christians being terrorists? Or how about the "trench coat mafia", why not assume and worry about any white teenage male being a terrorist?

Its because those whites and christians are us. We know that not all white people are terrorist because we're not a terrorist. But as soon as someone outside of our group does some hideous evil we start thinking that persons a terrorist. Hello white privilege. Especially in the case of Gale Nettles. That case quickly disappeared from the public eye, he was given a fair trail and got the sentence he deserved. If Gale Nettles had been anything but white, he'd be spending God knows how long at Gitmo Bay as an Enemy Combatant without any due process. The system seems to work, as long as you look like the majority.

A Few Resources

Eric Rudolph
Atlanta Olympic bombing suspect arrested - one of the literally hundreds of cnn stories about him
Eric and the Islamists - an interesting excerpt from the book "Hunting Eric Rudolph" comparing the similarities between the "Christian Identity" (the group Rudolph belonged to) and "Islamic Fundamentalist". Can't say I agree with everything, I'm educated on the "Christian Identity" movement enough to say one way or another. Just an interesting read.

Gale Nettles
Chicago man arrested in alleged bomb plot - cnn story
"Criminal" White Terrorist in Chicago Vs. Non-White "Enemy Combatants" - Music For Americans: music and other social causes short blurb

Tim Wise a speaker/author on White Privilege
http://timwise.org/ - I've been reading his book called White Like Me, and excellent read, pick up a copy like right now.

I'm assuming nothing is needed for Timothy McVeigh or the "Trench Coat Mafia"

2007-02-04T17:30:00.000-05:00

2007-01-12T01:43:00.000-05:00

Hey all, just wanted to let you know that I just finished up programing a pretty fun Pyramid Solitaire card game, and figured it doesn't do me much good hording it all for myself so I'm passing it on to y'all for free. No viruses, no extra programs installed, no annoying nag screens, nothing but game. Check out the screen grab (the thumbnail is linked to it) and if you want snag the game.

Windows users click here to download the zipped windows installer. And Warnes, just for you, here's a mac stand-alone version.

Enjoy!

And to update my last post, the iPhone is hitting the market in June for Cingular. The 4GB model will be $499 (the price of the 4gig iPod and a middle road smart phone) and a larger version will be selling for $599.

2007-01-09T18:25:00.000-05:00

If there were a contest held for what piece of technology I think is the most amazing and revolutionary, this thing would be the winner. Unfortunately right now it isn't approved for production. I'm hoping thats because they haven't tried for it yet. If everything in the demo (which the picture is linked to) makes it to production, mobile phones will be forever changed. I think I'll start saving money now.

2006-12-26T16:55:00.000-05:00

Esteban!

2006-12-14T21:30:00.000-05:00

I just saw Esteban and his incredibly beautiful daughter live at a very intimate venue, and had the cd and the illustration I did of him signed! And it was completely free! They got a good laugh when I told them I postponed my move back to michigan to go see them. During the hour long show they did some awesome improv of songs. Man that guy is amazing, and his daugther can play some awesome violin. So whats this intimate, free venue I speak of? Cassleberry Walmart, inbetween infants and grocery. It was awesome.

Thoughts from a Subway Shop

2006-12-11T14:41:00.000-05:00

I love me some Subway, and if you're wondering the new steak sandwich isn't as good as the old one. Today while I was in there, getting completely ignored by both workers while they and the old customer talked way to loudly about thier church's upcoming christmas play, I noticed something seemed odd. Not the fact that I was being treated as I wasn't standing there by two church-goers, this isn't about quite possibly my biggest pet peave (its not that hard to say "Hi, I'll be with you in just a sec"). This is about christmas pagents.

Try as I may, I literally couldn't help but listen to the lady talking with an outside voice with a thick brittish accent in a very open room, with lots and lots of reverb. It appears she was giving away tickets to her chruch's christmas pagent, well at least to the guy in front of me in line. I could launch into an us versus them thing here, because it feels very applicable, but I'll try to stay on topic. Anyway, christmas pagent. So this pagent will be huge. I'll note a couple of things I gleaned from her talking.

parts of the Charlie Brown Christmas Story
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, including a huge cave placed over the stage with a massive stair case going down to the stage so "people can watch the Grinch walk down from his cave"
numerous live animals for the nativity story
carabeans and pullies and high ropes for use somewhere in the play
broadway quality props
something about pyrotechnics

She talked for a little while about how huge it is going to be, and how expensive and high quality it will be. And it all seemed odd.

We put all sorts of resources into putting on this huge impressive show with stuff flying around. We put out tickets and tell everyone we know so they can come see, and these are some nice tickets. We spend money on ad space to advertise how good our show is so people will come see.

This seems to be starkly opposite (minus the live animals) to the actual birth. If anything, Jesus birth was down-played. If I count correctly, only 10 people on earth were privy to the fact that Jesus had been born, and 7 of them relied on heavenly informants. 10 is even counting Jesus. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph being the 3. The wisemen, shepards, and the roman offical end up numbering 7 (I think). There was no huge horrah about the birth among people other than the emporer. Seems pretty opposite to me.

Let me take you on a journey back in time, not back to Jesus's birth, but back to my junior or senior year of high school to a reenactment of the birth done by a handful of korean highschoolers and one pasty white boy with a gotee and glasses. I was just dropping my best friend off so he could practice and then perform in front of everyone in a couple of hours when he invited me to stay and watch. I had never been to a completely korean baptist church before, where everything is preached in korean and then translated to english, so I stayed.

Ends up there weren't enough baptist-church-going-korean-high schoolers to cast a full crew, so up steps the pasty white boy to play a shepard. My role consisted of some pretty hardcore acting. I kneeled on one side of the small stage huddled around the campfire made of construction paper with the other two sheppards. My trip following the star to get to the new born jesus consisted of standing up from one knee, spinning around on my heels, and then dropping down to the other knee in the manger at the makeshift crib of our plastic baby Jesus.

It was simplicitly beautiful. It was absolutely nothing like broadway, and as far as production value goes, I'd probably put it just a tiny bit below the 1st grade christmas play. But thats what made it so beautiful. There was absolutely no huge productive stuff to get in the way of the downplayed story of God coming to earth, and it was incredibly touching.

Maybe we don't need to add all sorts of stuff, maybe the beautifully downplayed story of how God decided to enter directly into his creation is more than enough.

At the end of the play all us make-shift actors became the church choir and lead everyone in singing a few christmas songs... in korean. Apparently I'm incredibly good at faking korean singing. During practice the "choir" director stopped us all mid-song and said Duby you need to sing louder, I can't hear you. I continued to mouth, but I nailed the glorias.

Whats amazing, with the numerous churches I've been to since that day, I've never felt more welcome and loved, despite being the odd one out. That to me is what Christmas, and Christianity, is about, incredibly amazing love, crossing all boundries.

2006-12-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

hey duby, why dont you pack all your books in one large box? Sounds like a good idea to me.

I'm retarded

Freakin' Amazing

2006-12-06T00:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, I hate Microsoft, but this program is amazing. I'm not even going to attempt to expain it, click here (or the image or title of the post) to watch the 3 minute demo video, its completely amazing. My mind is significantly blown.

"Deep" Question

2006-12-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

Whatever happened to Lazarus, the guy Jesus brought back to life? Could he die again? Would you have to either totally destroy the brain or detach it from the rest of the body like a zombie? Is he still wandering around somewhere? Just imagine if he was and he decided to tell his story.

If former dead guy Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha, is out there reading this, can I take you to lunch?

2006-12-03T17:05:00.000-05:00

somethings very very right

2006-12-03T04:37:00.000-05:00

this is actually an email I sent to the people on the University Young Life team that I lead with. I'm not posting it to brag about myself (since I can't take any credit for it), or the rest of the team, wait, scratch that, the team does an amazing job. But I'm really posting this to share the beauty of what God has been doing.

In the past few weeks of club, we have had...

a whole hurting family showing up
a kid consistently coming to club drunk, and announcing his intentions to continue to do so
kids sneaking off to smoke
kids coming to club after getting high (possibly sneaking off to get high)
a kid choosing to spend his hard earned money to buy his "family" a pizza dinner

and that list is so incredibly, divinly, good and right. I'm on the verge of tears with how beautiful all of that is, and I just wanted to point it out to everyone.

2006-12-02T15:28:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to point out the Emerging Ninja Blog. I've got another post brewing in my head, its just not ready to come out yet. So in the mean time, become a Friend of Ninja.

The Announcement - Isaiah 61

2006-11-22T18:25:00.000-05:00

a preview to a song I've been working on, although i stole most of it from Isaiah. I don't think he'll mind since his culture started the whole singing God's words back to him thing.

I your God am concerned with freedom
for the captive hearts
I your God an concerned with releasing from darkness
the prisoner, hold strong
I your God am concerned with preaching
the good news to the poor
For I the Lord love justice

For your ashes I will give
a crown of beauty
For your mourning I will give
oils of gladness
for your spirit of despair I will give
a garment of praise

I'm still working out all the chords and stuff. Once I finish it up I might record it and put it up here so people can get their praise on.

Side note, does anyone have a djembe they want to get rid of?

Completely Dynamic, XML Driven, Animated Menu

2006-11-15T23:00:00.000-05:00

Top of the main page (at least for now)! Holla!

Either way, its up there, and I'm pretty happy and proud of myself.

I suppose I should post a link to what I'm talking about, so here's the tutorial,

Cocoa Beach Pics

2006-11-15T02:31:00.000-05:00

The Crane

I can't believe I managed to get that first picture, and managed to have the settings right to not get a butt-load of motion blur on it. In case you didn't know, cranes look kinda stupid when you look at them straight on, I think a couple of the pictures below prove that.

Other Birds and a shell

I personally love the last picture I have on here. Those little ones are so freaking cute when they run like that. Those things seem to have two speeds, stopped and run as fast as you can. Have you ever seen one just kinda strolling along? I sure haven't.

All in all, that short little trip was exactly what I needed. It was like the waves were God whispering "I love you" in my ear.

God, in the voice of Tony Campolo

2006-11-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

The scripture says that when one member of the body suffers, all the members suffer. And so it is that each of us took a hit when Ted Haggard was “ousted,” disgraced, and then ridiculed by late-night comedians. But after we get over our initial anger at being betrayed by one of our top leaders, hopefully we will realize that we really need to prayerfully weep for our brother, his family and the members of his congregation.
In the midst of all the turmoil, confusion, and disillusionment, it is all too easy to ignore the suffering of Mike Jones, the male prostitute who blew the whistle on our brother Ted. Mike also will be hurt. His life will never be the same. He will always be scorned and a marked man.
We have to wonder: What drove him into prostitution? From whence did he get that low self-concept which, according to sociologists who study prostitutes, always characterizes these precious children of God?
Do we, the Church, bear any responsibility for how Mike Jones might feel about himself? Might he have heard some of those sermons which define homosexuals as “abominations” in the eyes of God?
Was it the war that so many leading Christians, including Mr. Haggard, have declared on the gay community that made Mike Jones feel that it was his “moral obligation” to expose the hypocrisy in evangelicalism?
Did he feel so oppressed by the way in which we have generated political movements that threaten to deny gays and lesbians their civil rights that he was motivated to strike back in the only way he could?
I have heard so many of my colleagues in ministry express deep concerns over what this scandal will do to the image of the evangelical movement, but I have heard little concern among us for how all of this will impact those Christian gays and lesbians that we know. They are in our churches. They teach in our Sunday schools and sing in our choirs. Most of them are closeted brothers and sisters who suffer in ways that are impossible for the rest of us to even imagine. They are good people who do not take drugs or visit prostitutes. Will the ugliness of this sorry mess feed a diabolical stereotype of them, which is too often circulated in our churches by unkind preachers who have little, if any, understanding of homosexuals?
In the midst of this tragic scandal, we need to be asking what good God wants to bring out of what has happened. Could this tragedy be used by God to draw us back from an arrogant triumphal attitude wherein we, in our self-righteousness, assume the right to take over America and politically recast it in our own image?
Is this a time when we might do some soul searching to see if we have been reduced into the corrupting influence of the power that we have gained in government and in the marketplace?
Finally, are we able to “restore our brother Ted,” who, in the words of scripture, has been “overtaken in a fault?” Are we able to consider ourselves lest we also be tempted? (Galatians 6:1)
Right now, both Ted and Mike are facing the dark side of their humanity. Are we willing to affirm them by declaring loud and clear that there is something of infinite worth in each of them?
We’ve got a lot of questions to ask ourselves in a time like this. Let us pray for the grace not to flee from these questions.

- God, in the voice of Tony Campolo

Things to do when you can't sleep at 5:30am

2006-11-14T11:15:00.000-05:00

drink some warm milk

take some velarian root

ocean sound cd

Adult Swim just started showing Voltron at 5:30... solid

Drive an hour to the Atlantic Ocean, spend 2 hours taking pictures and walking the beach, drive the hour back

Really cool pictures, or possibly links to really cool pictures, coming soon.

ps - is the green person from Voltron a guy or a girl? All suited up in the lion I definetly say guy, but in the normal street clothes it confuses it quite a bit. Nevermind, I just looked it up. Pidge is a guy, and yes, his name is Pidge. And I will punch anyone who makes fun of the name.

2006-11-14T04:10:00.000-05:00

My heart is broken, My spirit crushed
There is aching in these arms
To feel your touch

Be near to me, Be near to me
I will tase and see
That you are good, so good

Rescue me quickly, Lord hear my cry
I am reaching out my hands
My soul is dry

"Be Near to Me" by Enter the Worship Circle, Second Circle, 2001

Baghdad's morgues so full, bodies being turned away

2006-11-12T22:03:00.000-05:00

wow, the numbers of people being burried without being identifed is mind boggling. What struck me was the fact that people are now tattooing their names and phone numbers onto thier thighs so if they are killed, they can be easily identified and the family informed of thier death. Then the family can be spared having to look through books that are just pictures of dead people with identification numbers. Meanwhile we people camping out to get their hands on a PS3.

I'm reminded of a short writing by Czeslaw Milosz entitled "American Ignorance of War". Theres no way I'm gonna type it out here, and I didn't find it in a google search, but head to your library, its probably in an anthology there. Check it out.

2006-11-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

I wanted a sticker for my absentee vote, so I made one. Feel free to steal it if your an absentee voter as well. Us absentees should have stickers too!

2006-11-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

Dream something good about God
All you things in the outer reaches of my eternal imagination

Pardon me while I pick my face back up off the floor.

2006-10-28T14:26:00.000-04:00

This ones for all my YL people out there. Actually its a question for anyone who happens to stumble upon, but its in relation to Young Life club. Don't know what that is? Check out the offical Young Life website (which was finally redone recently).

So here's my question, within the weekly club what can we do as leaders to better facilitate the kids having an encounter with Jesus?

2006-10-28T10:58:00.000-04:00

Village Thrift:Circa 2005
Enter The Worship Circle

Go download this CD right now.

Ok, I suppose I should say more. CD = Amazing. Take the awesome lyrical masterminds behind all of the of Enter The Worship Circle albums and combine it with progressive music in line with Moby or the Blue Man Group, and you have this rediculously amazing cd. More amazingly real lyrics from the heart of the psalms with awesome (albeit different from previous albums) music. Seriously, go check it out with the iTunes link I stole, or head over to the Enter The Worship Circle website. If you are still reading this, shame... go now.

2006-10-28T07:24:00.001-04:00

"So Duby, what were you doing at 7am on Saturday?"
"Oh you know, sitting in front of the computer, repartioning one of my hard drives, watching the deleted scenes from Super Troopers with director commentary."

Sometimes I worry even myself.

I wonder...

2006-10-24T20:25:00.000-04:00

I wonder just how hard it is to coordinate jet fly overs like the one during the national anthem opening tonights game. I'd imagine that the FAA has to be involved since its a flight, and it would suck to have a jet plane scheduled to fly over a stadium somehow run into a commercial jet. And then the schedule. I don't know where the jets are taking off from, but they have to have it timed correctly, within the time it takes Trace or whatever other country music singer to sing the anthem. If you've ever flown in a plane, you know that a couple of minutes isn't that big of a window for a flight. Granted they aren't flying out of LAX with hundreds of other planes, but winds shifting can be the difference between getting over the stadium at the end of the song and missing the song all together. If nothing else, it takes a whole lot of math and probably communication. Games starting, time to shut up.

2006-10-21T18:37:00.001-04:00

Greenwood Cemetery

2006-10-21T11:07:00.000-04:00

more pictures. Theres a story behind going to the cemetery, I might add it later. For now I'll just say I was there more for thinking, the pictures were more of an after thought. And, though it will probably be obvious a shot or so in, I did do some stuff in photoshop to some of the pictures.

While I was there, actually while I was leaving, I saw this older lady sitting in a chair by a grave site . I decided to walk a long ways around her, since the whole time I was there I didn't want to disturb anyone grieving thier loss. As I was almost to my car I saw she wasn't grieving, she was painting, a beautiful painting. So I asked her permission to take some photos of her painting, and she agreed. After I shot some photos, I offered to email her some copies, which she turned down. We then got into a short discussion about how beautiful the cemetery is, which really hit home. A place literally filled with death was beautiful. The love and sorrow expressed in the enscriptions and flowers told a story of great love. But to me the most beautiful thing was that the love stories told by the head stones aren't over. Death isn't the end of our stories, it's merely a chapter. So, anyway, here are the pictures I snapped of the painter. Who I told can go home and tell all her friends she's a model now.

picture pages, picture pages

2006-10-18T10:55:00.000-04:00

so I spent a few hours last night sneaking around construction sites behind my apartment complex taking pictures. I currently have a pretty nice camera in my posession, thanks to my friend Sam Walmart loaning it to me for the month. It started off with just snapping some pictures that I need for a class project, and then turned to having fun. Actually, its all an attempt to be more like Whitney Warnes. But enough talk, heres some of the pictures that turned out pretty good, all sans photoshop except for resizing (and I had to straighten two of them).

Construction:

Fountain:

2006-10-14T15:07:00.000-04:00

In the process of trying to write a divinity talk for club on monday (its not going to well right now) I flipped through my journal/bible study notes/sermon notes/whatever notebook. I was amazed at how random my thoughts really are when I just sit down and write, usually late at night. Anyway, I found something I wrote that I'd I like to share. Its much better than a long post about a spaghetti dinner. I'll put the paragraph I'm talking about in bold because I want to show the randomness of the writing abit.

I could sure go for a bar night with Scott right about now. And get together with Cody and Andy and Weenum and Cyphers and Zack. That football game kicked alot ass.

I believe in love. Even though all of my beliefs seem to be up in the air, I believe in love, and God is that love, everything else be damned. Maybe this is right where I should be, I just need to live it out.

I'm freaking hungry.

Tar-tar sauce.

Thats a totally logical progression right? People I miss - a football game, not sure which one now - a kind of statement of believe - I'm freaking hungry - and a simpsons reference, "let the fools have thier tar-tar sauce"

I like that one coherrent paragraph I wrote in there.

Alright guys, seriously...

2006-10-14T02:51:00.000-04:00

... who took my pasta pot? Seriously. I bought all the fixings to make an awesome spaghetti dinner for tonight, much like the one pictured. Some awesome sauce with fresh onion, tomato, beef, and pepperoni topping a pile of herb spaghetti, with some finely shredded mozzarella cheese on top, none of that crappy sprinkle cheese for me. Of course I don't add stupid little garnish, I don't need to decorate my food.

So I brown the beef, chop the veggies and get the sauce going. Then I grab the stuff to get the noodles going, and low and behold the pot is gone, and I'm left holding a strainer. I was pissed. My wonderful spaghetti dinner was ruined, but I already had the sauce going. Instead of wasting this amazing sauce I had made, I decided to improvise a bit.

I tore through the cupboards looking for something to go with this awesome sauce that doesn't involve another pot, and the only thing I had in my apartment was 5 months old eggs, and bread. So I end up making some cheesey garlic toast and pour the sauce overtop of it. While tastey, it was wholely unstatisfying as a meal. A great snack yes, but a meal no.

So after utter disapointment over my awesome meal, I get back to procrastinating homework and a young life talk. About an hour or so later, I head back into the bedroom portion of my crappy little apartment to grab a book off the shelf and I kick something hard and metal. Yep, it was my pasta pot, on the floor, in my bedroom. Thats when I remembered I had brought it back there last month when I was sick to act as my just-in-case-I-can't-make-it-to-the-bathroom-before-puking-bowl (if you're grossed out about using the pot I cook pasta in, don't worry, it wasn't used). So now I have my pasta pot again, but no more awesome sauce, so my hopes and dreams for an amazing spaghetti dinner have been crushed.

I bet theres tons of pasta pots laying around everywhere in heaven.

2006-10-10T03:03:00.000-04:00

I didn't think it was possible a few years ago, but John Mayer has actually gotten uglier. It's like Edward Scissor Hands.

2006-10-08T23:27:00.000-04:00

mmm... I heart Oberon!

I'm offically back in Orlando now, and have yet another funny story to tell, this one funny ha you're a moron kind of funny.

So I'm running a little late packing, and we leave for the airport a little later than we had wanted, didn't matter though because we go there at 2pm and I was sitting on my butt at the terminal waiting by 2:05. So no worries there.

Long flight back (side note, a 2 hour drive is SOOOOO much nicer than a 2 hour flight), we land, get to the gate, I jump out of my seat and grab my bag from the overhead compartment, and at the exact moment I started to walk to exit the plane to call the shuttle to the parking lot to pick up my car and head back to the apartment it hits me like a ton of bricks that I forgot to grab my keys off of the counter before I left. My keys which not only had the keys for my car, but also the keys to my apartment.

I'll spare you all the details, but a friend got me, my neighbor who has a spare key to my apartment got back from his trip to Miami about the same time I got home. Mom is overnighting the keys to me tomorrow morning, so I'll have to wait till Tuesday at noon for keys. Whats rediculous is I could actually fly back to flight and pick up them in person and fly back here for about 60 dollars less than what the cost is to have them sent same day mail. Also crazy, Monday by 5pm=$163, Tuesday by noon $15.

I already miss Michigan like crazy right now. I have a cool little analogy coming up soon, so stay tuned if you're interested. It should be pretty good.

2006-10-03T18:08:00.000-04:00

So just a few minutes ago I ran to the corner store in the car mom rented so I could take her car to GR (thats another post coming evetually). Through a fluke at National Rental Car we got to keep the car tonight. So anyway, I go to the store right down the street. Run in grab my goods and head out.

I'm grabbing the right keys out of my pocket and getting ready to insert the key into the door to unlock it and return home when all of a sudden I hear "Hey man, what the hell you doing?!" I look up from the door handle, and theres a large, and I mean large, shaved head man sitting in my car. I look around and notice theres another Impala parked right behind me, and I realized (once seeing red pin-striping) that I was trying to get into the wrong car. A car that was inhabitied by someone big enough to break me in half and eat me for dinner.

So I apologize, alot, and explain to this giant of a man that the exact car next to his was my rental car and this is the first time I have driven it, and I didn't see him sitting there because I was messing with getting the right keys out of my pocket while holding onto the bag of stuff I just bought. Luckily he just laughed at me while I walked back to my car.

2006-10-02T01:01:00.000-04:00

"And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself"
-Dashboard Confessionals, Vindicated

Isn't it amazing how God knows exactly what we are in Him, even when we're still absolutely clueless to it ourselves?

2006-10-01T19:45:00.000-04:00

I heart me some Hudsonville.
Wish I had pictures of the game, but I do have the t-shirt.

How Far is Heaven

2006-09-27T13:08:00.000-04:00

I'm going to venture a guess that you the reader are thinking that this post will be about one of two things with a title like that. 1.)This will be an end-of-times post calling everyone to repent and turn to the Lord because the apocalypse is near and you don't want to be "Left Below", complete with mathmatical formulas to prove we should be gathering at the Springfield Mesa next week for the rapture. Or possibly 2.)A post devoted to Los Lonely Boys and thier hit song that I stole the title from. Or I guess I could throw out my proper english education, go against what I previously said and add a third option. 3.) some whacked out, crazy mumbo-jumbo about Heaven that probably has the potential to get me labeled a heretic, or a schismatic, in any number of circles.

I'm going to venture another guess that if you picked option #1, you really have no clue who I am and randomly found your way to my blog by some strange quest through the wonderful "tubes" of the internet. So for those who picked this option, hey and welcome. I'm also gonna guess that if you picked #2 you know me in some sort of manner to know enough that I'm not down with the whole predicting the apocolypse thing, and that I dig Los Lonely Boys. So to you I say hey, good to see ya again, hows your momma? And to those of you who picked option #3, you probably know me the best, I do tend to be a little whacked out from time-to-time. So to the friends who picked #3, you get the hetero-hug and an invitation to grab a beer, throw some darts, and shoot the perverbial breeze. Actually that invitational goes to everybody.
Anyway, now that the intro has grown much larger than I had intended, lets get down to business shall we? Or at least I'll get down to business and attempt to hold my ADD-ness at bay long enough to finish this exceedingly long post.

Today while chilling on the couch, reading Time magazine, I caught a beautiful glimpse of the Kingdom of Heaven, which I am hoping to share with all of you. First let me start with a picture.

These are kids in rural Africa where clean drinking water is hard to come by and usually involves women walking very long distance with pots to collect water and then return to thier village. Many times the women are injured in the trip, as its a necessary, but not always easy, journey to make.

So whats that have to do with this awesome pic of African kids smiling and having a great time? Pretty much everything. This great time is being had pumping water for the community they live in. If you've managed to look past the smiling faces, which is hard to do, you've noticed the kids are pilled on a Merry-Go-Round, one of the best classic playground toys ever invented. But, as you have guessed, that is no normal Merry-Go-Round, this one functions as a water pump, pumping large amounts of safe drinking water for the community. I'll spare you the numbers here, but check out the link at the bottom if you want to know more.

These amazing creations are called PlayPumps and are being installed in many places in Africa right now. I'm not sure of the technical aspects, but as the merry-go-round turns, it pumps water into a large holding tank nearby. I read a little blip about them in an article called "How the New Philanthropy Works" by Laura Bush and Jean Case. It talks about these amazing creations being an example of how people in the private sector partnering with governments are doing some pretty amazing things.

See the picture on the right? That could very well be the first time in those kids lives that they have been able to "drink straight from the hose." I'm not going to even attempt to take a stab at how many times I have done that growing up, I don't think it would be remotely possible, and these children are getting to experience it for the first time. That picture is just so exciting for me.

Another thing that is so awesome about these new pumps is the fact that they make thier own money to cover the cost of maintence for 10 years, a whole decade of having clean drinking water with no cost of maintence. The holding tank has billboards mounted on 4 sides, and the ad revenue from that covers the cost. It gets even better though. 2 of the 4 billboards a reserved for educational messages in lines of teaching good hygiene and HIV/AIDS prevention.

So we have rural areas of Africa plagued by water issues getting the water they so desperately need. The kids are having an amazingly good time on recess playing on a Marry-Go-Round, and there is great messages being sent to the youth and everyone else who goes to get water. What an amazing invention. If thats not The Kingdom work, Gospel, "Yahweh Ethics", God at work in the world, or any other name once could attribute to God's work of redemption to the whole of creation, I don't think there would be much that would count.

So, in the words of Los Lonely Boys, How Far is Heaven? I say its right there in the picture.

Googled: PlayPump Water System, link 1.5 the pdf file is where I stole the pictures from.

guess who's back... back again

2006-09-26T03:12:00.000-04:00

Duby's back, tell a friend...

anyway.

I had totally forgot about this blog, and so sad for y'all, now that more people I know are using blogger, and I've been getting into the habbit of posting things more than a sentence long, figured I'd step up to a blogger acount, and then realized I had one (with a funny picture I forgot about) that has laid dormant for almost a whole year.

I'm gonna (re)start this blog in the way I think any blog should begin, with a good, solid, uplifting refelction of a fart, enjoy.

So I get off the plane in the Smith terminal of wonderful DTW in Detroit, MI. Walking through the terminal to baggage claim and I'm got the soundtrack to Idlewild (a sweet cd by the way) on my rather loud headphones, big headphones that pretty much block out the world. So I've walking to the baggage claim and realize I have to fart, no biggie, I think, I'll just let it out nice and quite in the middle of this crowded terminal. Well, judging by the swinging around of 3 conservatively dressed older woman and the faces of laughter coming from the little kids next to me, its hard to determine the volume of a fart with loud music blaring directly into your ears. It must have been a rather decent volume because the ladies were a good 10-12 feet away. I really wish I had my camera on me at the time, because the look on the old ladies faces were amazing, espically when compared to those of the little kids.

2005-10-04T01:38:00.000-04:00

Bordem and photoshop are a great combonation.